Sitting, thinking

This week has been one of little activity, by choice. I am still recouping from malaria to a degree for it has left me weakened. There is a very large seminar that is going on now her at the seminary. All of the evangelists and pastors from the Morogoro area are in attendance to hear lectures about current church issues and have forums on strategizing the ministries of the Lutheran Church in this area. Instead of sitting through these lectures in Swahili I have been focusing my efforts on getting stronger and healthier so that I am tip-top shape when I go home. I have been trying to gain back some weight so that I do not scare my family and friends. I think it is working. 30 pounds is a lot of weight to lose in three months.

It has been interesting just having so much time to reflect about my experience here this week. It is as though my brain refuses to do it. No matter how hard I try I can't reflect on anything, as though my mind were preventing me from turning around and seeing what I have done as though to protect me from what I might see. I know that as the days ahead come and go I will be able to reflect more and will really feel the power of something much larger than me that has been here in Tanzania, but for now I am just a little numb. Right now my mind really only lets me be introspective about home and what is ahead of me right now. As I look to the journey of going home and being at home one thing keeps popping back into my head over and over. Do not go home with expectations. Just as it was not a good idea to come to Africa with expectations and pretenses, it is not a good idea to go home ideas of what is going to happen either. I know that as much as I would have liked it to, home has not been suspended in time. Home has changed like I have. People have changed. I know that I must come home with an open mind and heart, for there may be people that I once really liked that may be completely different when I get home, and not just because they have changed but because I have.

I have no clue how much I have grown here, and only time will tell to show how much I really have. I do know that I am leaving here changed though, that is one thing that I am almost certain of. Something inside of me is different, though I do not know what it is. I know that re-entry back home may be the hardest part of the whole experience and that adapting back to where I have spent nearly all of my life is going to be a challenge. I am oh so curious to see how things have changed, if they have at all. I am nervous and excited and fearful and happy and every other emotion that you can think of when it comes to going home, but in two days I leave. In two days I embark on the final leg or perhaps the first leg on my journey.

I know that I have seen things here that no one will ever see. I have experienced once in a lifetime happenings everyday here and I am reminded every single time that I step out my door by the Baobab tree that I am in Africa. That for three months I lived a dream. I know that I am going to miss this place. I know that there are going to be times when no one can comfort me because of the empty feeling that I have inside that can only be filled by watching the sunset behind the mountains in Tanzania. I will yearn for the solitude, and long for the silence. All of these things will come in due time, but for now I am numb.

Peace,
PHW

Long awaited post

Last week we headed to Zanzibar. The place was beautiful and filled with a rich history. Zanzibar is over 95% Muslim so it was an interesting atmosphere to be in. The sights, smells, and sounds of the land of Freddy Mercury were much different from Morogoro, but I didn't feel as though I had left Tanzania. Some people say that it is like a whole new world in Zanzibar, but I don't think that I can agree. I mean right away you begin to notice the differences between Zanzibar and the mainland of Tanzania, but quickly it becomes apparent how tied these places are together.

I think the biggest difference for me and also the hardest one to see was the white people. There were so many white people in Zanzibar, and everyone of them tourists... blatantly tourists. As we were walking the streets to find a place to eat that first night we saw plenty of girls in the shortest of short shorts, super low-cut top, and no real gratitude for anything that they received. Now keep in mind this is a 95% Muslim population. The four U.S. students felt embarrassed, and ashamed at what we saw. We were shocked at the cultural insensitivity of these white people, everywhere. That's when I started to wonder what kind of things have I done over these past few months that have been that offensive to other people? I would like to think that I haven't, but I just don't know.

The beach and the ocean provided much needed relaxation time. It felt good to just not do anything for while. To relax at last. It was the first time I had ever really seen the ocean and definitely the first time to swim in it. I was by no means disappointed by what I had encountered. Wading through the water we had to watch our step because among the seaweed were the sharp spines of sea urchins. Hundreds... Thousands of sea urchins. Thankfully none of us got stuck by them.

Steve, Tim, Luka and I took a small wooden fishing boat out to the reef and snorkeled. I had a great time seeing all of the fish, coral, underwater plant life, bigger sea urchins, and jelly fish.

I should probably mention that throughout the time in Zanzibar I started to feel ill, running fevers and having chills at night and aches during the day. I tried to not let get to me and power through so I could enjoy it as much as possible. It worked kinda.

When we got back to the seminary I got my blood checked and found out that I had malaria. Second time in three months. I think that is a sign that it is time to leave.

I have spent the past few days in a hallucinogenic haze from the excessive amounts of larium that is in the anti-malaria medication and from the malaria itself. It has been a bumpy ride these past four or five days. mostly spent in bed.



Peace,
PHW

Two weeks left

Happy belated Thanksgiving to everybody. Hope everyone had their great sufficiency and didn't go to far into a tryptophan overdose. Thanksgiving day did not mean turkey and family here in Tanzania, instead it meant final tests in Swahili. I have this feeling that I got bulldozed by the test. I am not saying that I failed, but merely that I was quasi-defeated. Languages aren't exactly my strong point and that was accentuated on T-day. Oh well, such is life.

Tim became sick Thursday night with what appeared to be a nice heavy-duty case of the flu. The next morning I woke up not feeling the greatest myself. I am not sure if I was actually sick or merely feeling ill in sympathy. So Tim and I got to spend the day in bed while Sara and Steve went to a village with Luka and PH. I was able to catch up on the news and send out a few emails. It felt good to read about global events all day.

Speaking about global events, the events in Mumbai have been a humbling reminder to those of us abroad to keep a low profile, but yet to not live in fear. Before deciding to come to Africa I was seriously considering studying abroad in India, which has made me think about how different I would feel if I was there instead of here.

My mind has been shifted lately from being here to preparing myself for going back home. Even though there is still two weeks left here, that is not much time. I have gone through two week periods six times now. Wow, I have been here twelve weeks...it just kinda sunk in how long I have been here. I have begun to really think about things I want to change in my life or at least try to incorporate into my life when I get home. It is completely a mental game, and my thoughts are more than likely ambitious, but I am thinking none the less. I won't be able to know what is feasible and realistic until I get home, but I know that things must change when I get home. I owe it to myself to change, since I have discovered so much about myself here. I am going to go out on a cliched limb and say that Africa has changed me, through the hospitality of the people that I have met and the solitude that places like Tanzania can give. Through deep times of reflection, I have been able to listen. To listen to the voice that has been trying to speak to me for quite a while now, telling me that these times they are a changin'.

I am preparing myself for re-entry just as I tried to prepare myself for the initial culture shock of coming here... Therefore that means I have no idea what to expect when I get home, except that I will be rather cold getting off the plane.

We head to Zanzibar on Monday for the week. It is going to be a nice vacation, a nice time to really feel like a tourist again... not that we aren't tourists now, but we will definitely feel it in Zanzibar. Yay for snorkeling and spice tours and mass consumerism... I am looking forward to it.

Peace,
Peter

Pack it up, pack it in let me begin

These past two days we have been to two Maasai villages. It has been two long days with us not returning until the stars light the sky like a lite-brite. Both villages were amazing to say the least.

Tuesday's village worship took place under a few trees and everybody (about 200) sat around in a big circle and just listened and laughed and sang and communed together. It was like tearing pages right out of the Bible. Telling stories and sharing God and love with everybody. I felt like I could see Jesus of Nazareth doing something so very similar, enrapturing the masses. Long before the service ever began we were shown the river that was near by. It was a very interesting river because it appeared to be wet sand but upon further inspection it was not hard to see that we were actually standing on top of the water source. If you dug any sort of hole it would quickly fill up with water. It was very fascinating to watch.

After the service we were treated to a show by the Maasai warriors. They sang and had a jumping contest, which is always fascinating to watch. I really enjoy watching the Maasai men break from their seriousness every once and a while to enjoy themselves and also to have a little friendly competition. It really showed which warriors were more experienced than others by the several inches higher they jumped. They appeared to be almost superhuman in the heights that they reached. It was as though they could have followed in the footsteps of Elijah.

The second Maasai village we visited was having a very special fundraiser to put in windows, doors, and a floor for their church. There again was close to 200 in attendance, all packed into a church that wasn't exactly huge. After the service there was an auction that brought out a lot of money. The goats that were there sold for 5 to 6 times as much as I had seen before. The pieces of fabric that typically go for $8-$10 at the most were selling for $35-$40. All of the money going back to the church...Hmm socialistic Christianity? ... That seems almost biblical...

The past two days have been very interesting in terms of growth. I find it hard to grasp what has really happened the past two days, or the past three months. I have become attached to the Maasai people in a weird way. It has been a fascinating three months and I am sure there are really odd aspects of it that I am going to miss, but I have no clue what yet.

Peace,
PHW

I subscribe to the news

I realize that I have neglected posting for a while. Last week was filled with many different things and village visits and such. I feel as though village visits have become part of the routine. It is not that I do not enjoy them, it was the fact that I know how the visits are going to go everytime, as far as the wait for a couple of hours before, the order of the service...even the songs that we are going to sing. I find comfort in these things, this repetition sometimes because it makes the time seem to just slide by, but then there are times when I begin to think that perhaps I need a change of pace if only for a little while.

Sunday we went back to Mabogeri, the village by Kilosa. This is the village that I had previously blogged about with all of the problems. It was a much different visit than before. People weren't hiding nearly as much, and more men were present. They gave us tea and half-cakes galore and gave us a meal after service as well. I was not sure how to accept these gifts of food when they themselves still suffer severely. It was a great lesson in hospitality, since hospitality is most certainly a two way street. The demeanor of the people seemed to be a little more positive, but it could easily be seen that they were still in dire need of help. If you weren't paying attention you could miss the fact that the people were still not able to eat very much and were still very much in need of aid. The Maasai can mask these things so easily through there great hospitality and their positive outlook on life. They are a strong people, and they refuse to weaken even in times of great strife.

After the service a woman became hysterical and at times appeared to be possesed. The evangelists and pastors worked with her for almost an hour trying to rid her of her demon. She suffers/ed from PPD, having attempted to kill her child once. This seemed to be the biggest part of her hysteria, but every once and a while it appeared that there was something inside here resisting as though there was something else living in her. This incident again brought up the issue of demons and evil and black magic into my mind. When I think of these things I am reminded of Carlos Castaneda writing about the alternate realities that lie within our own world that we simply can't see. When I hear about, or in this case see, demon possession I can't help but wonder if there is validity in it. Just because something lies in another reality and that person can see it, doesn't make it any less real for that person. I realize that I am digressing into philosophical nonsense but it is the only way that I can explain it.

On the way home we saw what was more than likely dead body #2.

Something that I should mention that I didn't a few posts ago... When we are at the wedding at the prison Tim went into the bathroom only to turn around and slam the door because a long green snake came out of the toilet pit and started coming toward him... though more than likely not in a threatening manner. Upon further research, Tim is convinced that he say a green mamba which isn't nearly as bad as the black, but still a mamba none the less. We sometimes forget about the fact that we are in Tanzania and that typical things that wouldn't hurt us at home will most definitely kill you here. It's a humbling reminder that we are still in a place where we have to watch our step, and stay alert to the bugs and other creatures that live around us.

Prime example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR3oD0WDcVU Steve took this video just outside the place where we eat. It is a cobra and they can kill you.

Peace,
Peter

Singing with the Maasai

Tuesday took us close to where we went on Friday. The church was packed with standing room only, creating a nice oven to sit in. Tim, Steve, and I had learned our lesson from Sunday and brought rags to wipe the sweat off our brow and fan ourselves with. There were several choirs there, including "Wartburg". The four of us had the honor of singing in front of the congregation. We chose to sing the song "Sanctuary" and actually pulled it off fairly well. I was quite amazed out our little quartet. During offering the Maasai pastors and Maasai evangelists gathered together in Morani ya Yesu (Morani is the age group of Maasai men that are Warriors) and had their own choir. Luka decided that it would be great fun if he brought me up with them to sing. So here was Luka and I standing with a group of Maasai. As we "danced" and sang, I couldn't help but feel connected better to the people that I have come to know and respect over these past few months. It has been quite the experience here.

After the service Tim and I bought a goat at the auction for on of the evangelists. It was a little different auction this time because there were several goats and a cow up for grabs. I know that in the past I have heard people that came here at one point in time or another have bought goats and cattle, but since we have been here anything bigger than a chicken has been a rarity. Most of the people we see are very very poor and are not able to give up any of their animals for the sake of charity. I am not saying that the people at this Maasai village were rich by any means, just that they had goats and cattle to donate.

Wednesday we head out to a Maasai village near a secondary school that PH spoke at a few weeks ago. It is a highly Muslim populated area, so it should be interesting to see how it goes. It's not that there is going to be trouble or anything, but I like to go into the heavy muslim populated areas and see the interaction of the people.


Peace,
PHW

Prison

Yet another eventful weekend came and went. While Tim stayed home with malaria on Friday, Sara, Steve and myself went with PH and Luka to a Maasai village. This village seemed a little different than the a lot of the previous ones that we had been to in the past few weeks. There was a sense of real happiness and joy in the faces, instead of the tired, stressed and feared faces that we had started to become more familiar to. The air smelled of nag champa, which reminded me a lot of home because I burn nag champa incense while I study. The whole day was very upbeat. The choirs danced and sang with a great energy.

Saturday was wedding time once again. Only this wedding took place at a prison. One of the guards was getting married, and PH was performing the ceremony. It was an interesting wedding indeed. Not because there were prisoners there (there weren't any) but the fact that the choir had two electric guitars, a bass, and an electric keyboard. It was weird to see these things. I haven't seen an electric guitar in action since I left home. It was interesting to listen to, for they were really good but yet I didn't like it. It wasn't the fact that it wasn't my genre of music or anything, I guess it just lost something for me since we usually listen to choirs that do things with a drum at most. It seemed to lose something for me, which was an odd sensation because I used to play in a praise band throughout high school and part of college.

Sunday we went to the youth prison for a very special service. It was confirmation Sunday. Two inmates were among those that were being confirmed. For some reason I feel very attached to the prison visits. Earlier in the week I had communed with pardoned murders, and now I got to see two inmates be confirmed. I don't know if I feel that I am being called to prison ministry, but I do know that I felt a strong connection with the prisons just the same. Perhaps it is the fact that Jesus was executed by the state...

As time goes on here in Africa, I am finding out more and more that I am Lutheran. I had been pondering the idea that all people have the potential to do great wrong and the potential to do great right... Then like a stein of beer it hit me that I was thinking about Martin Luther's idea about being both saint and sinner. I may sound pretentious or even pontificate if I say this but... I think that I have really begun to understand the theology of the cross...probably not, but I am still seeing God in the places that I do not expect. I am beginning to understand that we must transcend far beyond the elementary notions that anyone is different in the eyes of God. We are all loved the same. We are all the children of God, no matter what we do. We are all brothers and sisters, and for me it is through Jesus the Christ that I understand this. That is how I understand this notion, but it doesn't mean that I am more right than my Muslim, Hindu, Bahai, Zoroastrian, Atheistic brothers and sisters. When we realize that we are all human beings and that we are all brothers and sisters. We all come from the same light, the same parent, the same space, the same universe.

Peace,
Peter

One month left

Today marks one month left of my stay in Tanzania. I have started to reflect on what I have accomplished here so far. I have come to realize that I really regret nothing here. In fact, Tanzania has exceeded my expectations in many ways. Over these past few months I have had moments where I thought that my experience here has not been nearly as exciting as study abroad students in the past. How wrong I was to think those things.

No two experiences to a place are the same. Tim and I share a room and go to the same places, but when he gets home and when I get home we are going to have two completely different experiences. There is no doubt in my mind that with one month left, coming to Tanzania has changed my life. It is something that I will always carry with me, no matter where I go and what I do. After all of the things that I buy get broken or lost. After all of the pictures have somehow been erased or have gone missing, I will still have my experience with me.

I had many preconceived notions of what I would see, what I would do, and what I would feel coming here. I spoke with many people that have come here at one point in time and asked them about their time here, and I received a lot of the same answer. This made me think that it was those things that I would have to look forward to. Most of those things I have done, and really did enjoy, but so far what I will take away from this goes so far beyond those things. There is no real way good way to explain how I feel here. There is not really a way to put into words how I have felt when I have seen and experienced the things that I have here. I understand now why all of the study abroad students tend to say the same things. They are the only things that you can put into words. Everything else goes beyond explanation.

I have seen things here that no other Wartburg student has seen, just as every other person that comes here for study abroad has seen things that I will not get a chance to see. It is in the personal and silent connections that we have while we are here that we will remember. That we will grow in and recall as time goes on. It is in the silent places that we find ourselves asking the questions and maturing our minds.

Peace,
PHW

Bible study

Yesterday, Sara and I went with PH to a prison nearby to meet with the local evangelists. We sat with the evangelists (some know our names, which is an odd feeling) and listened as they discussed the issues that they are going through in their congregations. Why did we meet in the prison you ask? Simple, it was a central location to meet. After the discussion we took a look at the scriptures that would be used for this week. During this Bible study some of the prisoners and community members came in. It was a time where they could ask question about the scripture to a minister. This is a rare opportunity.

After the Bible study we had a short communion service. I stood next to two men that had killed an Indian Muslim and cut up his body for "medicine". It really made me thing about what communion really means. Perhaps is was the fact that I was reading about Marxist ideas in Christianity shortly before we started the Bible study, but I could really see that in communion everyone is equal in the eyes of God. No one is to be denied the forgiving grace of God. No one. God loves everyone equally. That is the point. I think that is the point of Christianity. Love.

No matter what happens. No matter what we do wrong, or right. We are all loved by God. We are all forgiven.

I have been thinking a lot about sin, forgiveness, and love lately. Especially love. As I was coming back from the orphanage that I visited today, I thought about the love of a child. The purity, and unquestioning trust and love of a child is something that is lost as we get older. I think everyone longs at one point or another to regain that level of trust and that openness of love. Love is what Jesus asks from all of us, whether or not you believe in the salvation aspect of Christianity. It is through love that we can defeat the "Rome" of greedy behavior. It is through love that we see that it is ever so important to forgive those who have wronged us. To feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and help those in need. It is through love that we can find peace. It is through love that the kingdom of God is found.

On a side note, Tim has malaria. Pole sana, Tim. That brings the malaria count to 50% for Wartburgers in TZ.

Peace,
PHW

A week like no other

This past week has been quite like no other. I have had some pretty high highs and bizarrely low lows. As I elaborated in the previous post I saw a village fall victim to cruel and unusual punishment. I watched the eyes of those hungry and tired look me in the eyes with fear. I watched a nation elect someone who stands for change and hope or the United States of America, from the other side of the world. Where ever I go I can hear the somewhere in the alleyways a faint voice accentuating the word "Obama". Obamerica.

I stared in a bizarre amazement as we drove past a man that had more than likely fallen victim to a ton of iron and steel lying partially on the road, dead. That very same day I watched a newly born calf stand up for the first time. I felt the great hospitality of a village that seemed genuinely excited to see us. Within that one day I had seen the spectrum of life. The beginning and the end.

This weekend I got to peer briefly into the minds of our teachers when it comes to relationships and girls. I became very aware that there are universals among men and their understanding of women. That we have absolutely no clue why they do the things they do.

So many things have happened. I know that my fellow American students can articulate their ideas and their experiences really well, but for some reason I cannot recently. I have begun to internalize things and don't really want to talk about them. Not just bad things that bother me, but also good things, things that I just want to keep to myself for a while. I am finding that I am doing this more and more...keeping things to myself. I am not sure how I feel about it and I am afraid that when I get home I may upset people for not talking too much about all of the things that I have experienced, but then again I may talk too much...who knows.

I have 5 more weeks here. I still have a lot of growing to do. A lot of things that need to be figured out. Things that need to be thought through. I hope it is enough time.

Last but not least, I want to say Happy Birthday to my parents. Sorry I haven't emailed...for some reason whenever I get on to email you the internet is either out, I can't log into my mail or some other bizarre thing happens...So HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM AND DAD! LOVE YOU!!!

Peace,
Peter

Eye for an eye the world goes blind

Today we trekked out to dangerous territory. We went to the village where all of the conflict is, the place where a Maasai man was shot to death and then the warriors killed five people. The place where the police brutality has taken place. The place that has been absolutely devastated by theft and where the people hide in fear.

After breakfast this morning we headed into Morogoro to buy as much food as we could for the village. The people are not able to go out for fear of being hurt or killed. After we filled up the SUV with food we embarked on our journey. As we got closer to the village it was eerie as the Maasai that typically line the streets and can be seen everywhere were no where to be found. As we turned on to a secondary road the stares of the people couldn't go on with out notice. The deeper we got, the longer the stares became. The expressions on the non-Maasai peoples face could told a story of negative emotions toward the Maasai, toward us, toward the whole situation. It felt as though we were driving to a forbidden place as we got closer to the village because the lack of Maasai. I never really realized how many people we typically saw at any given time on our way into the villages. There were no Maasai to be found, and the people that we did see on these secluded roads did not have the usual welcoming smile and wave, but instead a stare that penetrate into the soul.

When we arrived in the village, there was no one to be found, we were expecting people to be taking refuge in the school or the church, but no one was around except for three men that were waiting for us at the church. We unloaded the food and sat and talked with the men. As time went one a few more men showed up, but the women and children were no where to be found. It was too dangerous for them to live their regular lives in the village. As we talked with the men they told us that those that still remained in the area were living in the bush, in hiding. They hide from the corrupt and brutal police, the people that come to retaliate, the people that come to steal.

We were taken to the school where they had hidden all that they could before thieves came and ravished the village. Peering into the windows of the school it appeared that everyone left as fast as they could. Benches were flipped, school papers were everywhere, and the sheer chaos in the room reeked of fear and urgency. I couldn't help but think of the images that I had seen of WW2 where people left in such chaos.

After the school we walked to where the village had their well. While we were standing looking at their watering system a large truck came barreling through. The truck, and the men in it, had come to grab whatever they could. Apparently they have been there several times before to just take things, but the Maasai will not stop them. The Maasai are a strong people, but they are also gentle, and smart. They are not going to create more conflict for themselves by trying to stop these robbers. It blew my mind how the truck just came driving up in the middle of the day as if it were this persons job to come to this village everyday and just take things.

When we got back to the church, we noticed that women and children had come out of the woodwork, but were very cautious with at coming anywhere near us. They didn't know at first why we were there, but as they started to realize that we were there to worship with them they started to come in droves. The odd thing about it was the fact that they Maasai women, who are typically more than hospitable, avoided looking at us and shaking out hands. I am not saying that all of them did, but many of them refused to acknowledge our presence, which I feel is completely understandable.

The service was abnormally short because PH was told that the women wanted to go back to where they had come from as soon as possible. It was something out of the Bible...the whole thing really. As Tim has more than likely mentioned in his Blog, they made the bread unleavened because they needed to leave in a hurry.

I am still trying to sort out my thoughts about the whole situation. I think the magnitude of it is still not realized in my mind. A Maasai man was killed, and in a crime of passion the warriors killed five men. (that was something that we learned today. The news reports had said that the warriors retaliated and spoke in language of premeditation. After speaking with some of the villagers, which some of them may very well have been the warriors in question, we found out that the warriors had watched their friend fall to gunfire and they reacted immediately) One of the commissioners had said that the village is nothing but violent no good people and that their village should be destroyed and their land turned into a national park. I in no way support killing, but what is done is done. Maasai are dead, non-Maasai are dead why does an entire village of women and children have to suffer? This seems oddly like foreign policy in the US....

My brain is taxed, and my nerves are close to being shot.

Peace,
PHW

Quiet Weekend

It has been an interesting weekend so far. Since nothing really ended up happening on Friday, it has been a three day weekend here. It is oddly different because of the lack of things to do. I am not sure what to do with myself with this much time off. I don't think since we came here in September have we had more than one day off, because of Maasai village trips, Swahili lessons and other random things along the way. Yesterday I kind of lounged around and took long naps. Sort of felt like a lion, sleeping most of the day. In a way I feel that I wasted a day away in Africa by sleeping through most of it, but on the other hand, I was so tired from the previous week that it felt good to just sleep and nap.

Though today is just starting, I think that I am going to try and load my day with studying and personal reflection. I have kind of fallen behind on my personal reflection and I can feel the tensions in myself build. It is a weird sensation, almost overwhelming. I am finding that I NEED personal reflection time. If I don't spend time to empty my head, my thoughts stay there all day and just build and become a sopping mess of worry and anxiety...maybe I need to be on drugs...hmmm....nah.

Swahili is becoming very difficult for me. I am all of a sudden forgetting simple words, and grammar structure and I don't know why. It is as though the more I try to squeeze in, the more stuff falls out and then eventually it all falls out. It is becoming frustrating because there are times when I can't say the same thing two days in a row. It is as though my brain is rapidly losing memory. If this keeps up, by the time I leave here I won't even be able to say hello.

Unfortunately, I feel as though things are becoming routine here. Unless there is something out of the ordinary with a village or with our schedule during the week, villages start to run together. Worship services seem to go by without me even noticing anymore. I am finding myself sitting for four to five hour periods of time in a worship service and forgetting that I am even sitting there. I remember beginning the service, taking communion, and then leaving... I am not sure if this is a good thing or an incredibly terrible thing that is happening. I feel as though I am just living. Like this is my life right now, and I live it one day at a time, just like at home. Africa has become my new home. I am not shocked by too much anymore, when I see things that I used to find absolutely fascinating in the beginning, I now see them as everyday life.

Becoming more conditioned to Africa makes me wonder what is going to happen when I get home? What kind of re-entry culture shock am I going to experience. Will I feel at home right away, or will it take me a while to get back into the swing of things? There are times here where I miss home quite a bit, will there be times when I feel the same way about Tanzania? It is hard to say what is going to happen when I get back home. I am curious to see what happens.

Peace,
PHW

Long week

It's been a long week filled with visits galore. Sunday we went to a Swahili village up in the mountains. Monday we had our standard Swahili lessons. Tuesday and Wednesday we went to Maasai villages as well...pretty standard if I remember correctly. Things all start to run into each other when we don't really have anytime for a breather. So I apologize for the lack of details. My brain is in overload right now with everything that has happened this week.

After our village visit on Tuesday, Tim, Steve and I headed to the Hindu temple with some Indian friends of ours to celebrate Diwali. To quote Wikipedia, because I am not as eloquent of a writer...and I'm lazy...In Hinduism, Diwali is the homecoming of Lord Ram of Ayodhya, after a 14-year exile in the forest and his victory over the evil demon-king Ravan. In the legend, the people of Ayodhya (the capital of his kingdom) welcomed Ram by lighting rows of lamps. It is the festival of lights. It is the biggest celebration of the year for Hindus, just like Christmas is in the US. Diwali is very family oriented so when we saw people there, they were with their families. We went into the temple and got to see the statues of different gods and things. It was quite the experience. One of the big parts of the celebration, now in modern day time, is fireworks. I have never seen so many firecracker, m-80s, bottle rockets, roman candles, mortars and spark volcanos in my life. The air was filled with the sweet smell of incense and gun powder. It was incredible, and hardly anyone got hurt...unlike at home. The smell of the incense reminded me of home a little bit, because I burn the same type that they do...Ah sweet nostalgia.

We found out this week that a Maasai man was shot to death after a confrontation with men that were burning his land. The burning of land around here is very common. People burn the land to create parameters and areas where they don't want the Maasai to take their cattle. Unfortunately, most of the time the places that are burned actually belong to the Maasai people. So when this Maasai man tried to stop these men from burning his land he was gunned down. In retaliation to the man being murdered, Maasai warriors from that particular village slaughtered five men that were involved in the shooting. The local police and government has become involved with the investigation, which is bad for the Maasai men, since the police force is corrupt around here. Many Maasai men have and will be beaten by the police. Another turn in the story is that they village that killed the 5 men had 400 cattle stolen from them by what authorities are saying are accomplices of gunman. The reason I tell you these things is because we are heading to the village next Friday. This should be a very intense visit, I am curious to see how it pans out.

Yesterday, Tim and I trekked with several pastors, Luka, and PH to go pickup a prophet. A real, honest to goodness prophet. This man sees visions of Jesus and has prophesied with great accuracy. He is a very respected man in Tanzania. After picking up the prophet, we drove to a Maasai village where he had said that if the leader of the village didn't quit dealing in black magic and stop drinking heavily, he would die before the long rains came. Needless to say he died. When he spoke yesterday he sounded like something straight out of the Old Testament. He never made any big announcements, but made logical prophecies about the future of the village and things. He spoke again about not dealing in black magic and that they needed one another to grow and love God. He asked for nothing from the village and took nothing.

I don't really know how I feel about prophets and the idea of black magic. I am conflicted about all of it. You talk to most Tanzanians or those who work for the church and they will tell you that when people are possessed by demon they are truly possessed by a demon. I don't know if I believe this or not. It is really hard for me to believe it, because I was not brought up to believe in such things. I don't know if I really believe in evil in general. I think that there is a lack of good and I think that many things that happen actually come from experience (which I could explain the experience thing to you if you want to know), but to say that someone is evil or that there is evil in the world...I am not sure. It is definitely something that I have been debating for a long time and have had several conversations at length with people about. What is evil? What makes something evil? Do I believe in a devil, an entity that makes us do things against our will...no I don't, and I won't until I can be convinced otherwise. Perhaps it is just one concept that I can't wrap my mind around...

I am going to go think about it some more.

I'll try to write again sooner than I did last time.

Peace,
PHW

Soko la ng'ombe

I thought I would write an entry tomorrow after we visit another village, but then I realized that my experiences today would probably not be as epically cool and details would be skipped out.

Today we went the cattle market. If you can remember way back when, we went to a cattle market about month ago... has been a month already? Wow, I guess it has. That means that it has also been about a month since I had malaria. I know this because the last time we were at the cattle market I felt unbelievably terrible for no reason. Not today though. Today was a special day. PH didn't have to pick up anybody along the way today so the four of us got to ride where there is leg room. For some reason I get the front seat whenever this extremely rare occasion happens. Maybe it's seniority, maybe it's height, maybe it's pity...who knows and who cares. Sitting in the front means direct access to the A/C vents MWAHAHAHA!!!!

When we got to the market we made the rounds with PH. Using our Swahili skills that we have acquired over the past month and a half of lessons. It was terrific to use our skills once again in a public setting. As the day went on I realized that I could understand about half the conversation around me. People bartering, people talking about their families, people talking about their cattle, their villages, their current life situation. It was amazing to hear it all because when we came last time I felt like I was watching a foreign film with no subtitles, now there are subtitles that turn themselves on and off...but there are still subtitles. None of us really bought to much as we walked around. Maybe some fabric, a pair of shoes, and a few knives. It was just great to walk around and meet new people and see some familiar faces. We drank and ate green coconuts. We ran into some limeys (the term originating in the late nineteenth century because of the former enforced consumption of lime juice to prevent scurvy in the British navy) while we were there and talked it up for ten to fifteen minutes. It was quite odd to see other white people around. It made me realize how much we must stick out like sore thumbs. Odd feeling, this realization.

Lunch rolled around...that meant GOAT!!!! YAY!! I love eating goat. We got some liver, ribs, and a leg. My father would absolutely love this meal, because it is meat with a side of meat with meat for dessert. After all the meat was eaten I was given one of the big leg bones along with PH. I had the Maasai man that we ate with crack open the bone so that I could have one of the great Maasai delicacies, that is to say the bone marrow. I impressed the Maasai around us as I sucked the bone dry until it whistled. If you ever wanted a cultural experience, this would be one to do. As the quasi-tasteless slime finds its way into your mouth you begin to think to yourself, this isn't too bad, I could think of a lot worse things it hits you. You are in Africa sucking out bone marrow with some crazy Americans, Tanzanian pastors and Maasai people. What an opportunity.

I have come to realize that I will not be really able to grasp all that I have done here while I am here. When my everyday life consists of studying Swahili with Tanzanians as my teachers, visting Maasai villages, riding in dala dala's, looking at the beautiful mountains behind the seminary, the countless flowers, trees and plants...it is hard sometimes to fathom it. I know that when I get home it is going to hit me, and hit me hard. I look forward to though. I look forward to grasping the magnitude of what I am doing here. Even though I may not be making a major impact on Tanzania, I know that Tanzania is making a big impact on me.

Peace,
PHW

different names for the same thing

Today we started the ever coveted second book in Swahili. The "advanced" book. I am struggling with Swahili at the moment, and the more advanced levels aren't really helping. The good side of doing the more advanced lessons is that we slow waaaaay down to get it, which is helpful for me. There is just so much vocab to remember and I am far behind. It could be the fact that I am nothing like Tim and don't want to study it for another three hours a day when I have already studied it for five hours through out the day, though if there is anybody that should study... it's me.

The lack of academic structure is not treating me well either. I am a huge procrastinator, which means that I have not done as nearly as much as I should. Sure, I have started my other classes, but I feel that I am fairly far behind in them. I know that this is more than likely a mirage, and that if I were to sit down for a day or an hour and just work as hard as I can at them I would probably be up to where I think that I should be.

On a completely different topic... We are headed to the cattle market once again this weekend. This time around should be better, considering I had a good/miserable time. I loved being there but I felt terrible the whole time, this was the beginning of my bout of malaria. I am really looking forward to this cattle market, because I think that I missed out on quite a bit on the last one.

I wish there was something deep to write about right now, but I can't really think of anything at the moment. I can't think of anything really shallow and pretentious to right about... Hmm... Maybe I should get checked for malaria again...

Peace,
PHW

Puking at higher altitudes

I realize that I haven't updated my blog in a little while. I apologize that I am not as studious as the others... Anywho this past weekend was an interesting one to say the least.

Friday night we watched most of the third and final presidential debate. I had downloaded most of it the night before, so we got to see quite a bit of it until my download went poopy. It was quite entertaining to watch the debate with a Dane, an Indian couple that are here to do research through Michigan State (so they understood our American attitudes, living in the US to study and all) and a few Tanzanians around my age. We watched and awe as Obama cooly shot down McCain and McCains "deer in the headlights stares into the camera." We laughed, we yelled and most importantly discussed. It was really interesting to get an international perspective on the presidential race. Needless to say the rest of the world leans to the left.

Saturday I woke up not feeling the best. Little achy, little nauseous. That's when I convinced myself that I needed to go with the group and go climb the mountains behind the seminary. About an hour and a half into the climb, my body decided that it hated me and wanted to expel everything in the stomach. It was the first time that I has ever thrown up in public (as far as I can remember). I felt better after that and then continued on for another 8 hours. We reached the top and then continued for a while going down the other side. We then turned around and went back. I am still sore today but it was worth it. I'm glad I didn't bail out, otherwise I wouldn't have had the opportunity to see how unwinded and unsweaty a Maasai gets when he climbs a mountain. He had about a half liter of water all day....I drank 6 1/2 liters and ran out of water just before our descent.

Sunday we went to another Maasai village, only this one was a little different. Since PH needed to talk to the elders of the community (which I am sure the others have already described) we got to take a tour of the village, thanks to our friend and teacher Moreto. We went inside the houses, the kitchen, played with a Maasai spear, got to see how they make their sweet shiny jewelry. On a more serious note, this village seemed to have a different dynamic than the others. There was a wide range of people. There were those who were much better off than others. Widows suffered the most because the leader that taken care of them after their husbands died, died a few months ago himself. These widows had become very thin and looked extremely malnourished. It seemed odd to me that this happens in a community that is so close knit as what it appeared to be. This makes me really question the dynamic that is in these Maasai villages. It is an extremely patriarchal society, but everyone needs to depend on one another to survive. I guess this runs a little deeper than once thought. If a woman's spouse dies and no one steps up and takes care of that widow by providing food and other essentials for her, then that widow wilts and dies. I don't know how I feel about this. Taking a step back and looking at the societal structure it is obvious that the patriarchal society is very flawed. In instances like this, where poverty is so heavy, is it better to let a few die for the betterment of the community, or does everybody chip in and live at much harsher state than they are already in?

The choice would appear to be obvious where everybody chips in and helps one another, but by doing so they are weakening the state of an already fragile society, causing more sickness and malnutrition on a much larger scale and therefore potentially perpetuating the downfall of their community.

This just reinforces that I have so much to learn yet about the culture of the Maasai people. It is not as basic as it appears on the surface, but things like this seldom are. I am quickly learning how blind I am to things like these when I got villages and that I need to open my eyes more.

Peace,
PHW

I bless the rains down in Africa...

You knew that one was coming eventually.

It started to rain tonight. As I am typing this it is still raining and has been for the past hour and a half. Could this possibly be the rains that Tanzania has so desperately been praying for? I can only hope so. It is a full moon outside tonight, though you cannot tell that the moon even exists because it is so dark here. The darkness covers everything around leaves to the imagination everything. I wonder if I will be able to notice a difference in the landscape tomorrow when I wake up? I can only imagine that I will. With the short spurts of rain that we have had in the past the ground seems to suck it up faster than any SHAMWOW!! cloth ever could.

Yesterday we went to a Maasai village to worship. It was the first time that anybody had worshipped in their new church that Luka built. It was an interesting ride as we packed the four Wartburgers, PH, Luka and three other Tanzanian pastors into the Patrol, which is supposed to seat 7 including the driver but really only seats 6 comfortably. The crowding was nothing new for any of us, as we are used to hauling over maximum capacity on a regular basis. When we got there the Maasai choir gathered around and sang all day long as we waited for the service to start. The choir wasn't necessarily the best sounding choir that we have heard (not that they were bad by any means whatsoever) but they were definitely the most energetic choir that we have seen to date. Apparently they have learned every song by listening to a cassette tape or by composing the songs themselves. There was some form of a dance or another to every song. During offering they even had this way sweet single file line of synchronized dancing and singing. I was able to capture some video, so when I get back to the states I can remember what it was like....Yay for me and modern technology.

My brain clicked in yesterday as I sat listening to the choir sing. I had studied African-American churches and even been to a couple services, but it finally dawned on me the reason that Maasai singing sounded so familiar. The gospel choirs in the big African-American churches back home are taking their cues from the very music that I now listen to several times a week. I realize this is a "Duh" moment for some people, and it really was for me when I thought of it yesterday, but as I sat there I suddenly tied closer to home than ever before. Being here I am not learning about Tanzanian culture, I am learning about American culture. I have to question and understand my own culture before I can even begin to try and understand Tanzanian. This further solidifies the fact that when I come home and people ask me "What is the culture like in Tanzania?" I will have to honestly answer, "I have no idea."

Perhaps I have said this before in an earlier post (and if I have I apologize, though not really because it's my blog and I can repeat whatever I feel like...so there...HA) but in order to understand culture one has to under why people do things, one has to understand motivations, the meanings to rituals and just everyday life. Sure when I get home I will be able to tell you some differences between the way Tanzania does things compared to home on a superficial level, but there is just no way that I can understand the depths and complexities of any culture in three months, nor three years. I realize that when people ask "What is the culture like there?" they are truly asking "What are the differences that you noticed between here and there?" but being the person that I am I put weight to words like culture. Culture is a philosophy, it is the way of life for a particular society.

So much can be said about the way that people respect one another here just by taking a look at the language of Swahili. The word for stranger is the same word for guest (mgeni). There is no distinguishing between like and love in Swahili, because it is the same verb (Kupenda). There are so many examples like this in the language that give tiny glimpses inside the culture. This is just the language. You could spend decades just researching and hypothesizing about the culture through the language alone, but then you would be neglecting a major factor. The people. What are the people like? Are they really friendly because they are really truly happy, or are they happy because if they didn't try to be happy all of the time they would be so incredibly depressed. It is amazing how many people mistake powelessness for indifference.

I am reminded of Luke 12 where Jesus talks about not worrying because worrying does nothing for you, ever. From what I have observed, though I make absolutely no conclusions, people take this to heart here. Many have realized that if they worry about their current condition they will do nothing but worry, and worry equals inactivity. Inactivity equals certain death. Tanzania is a country, definitely not unlike the US, where people have to work hard to make ends meet from one day to another. The difference here is that it is out in the open that people are starving and are living in poor conditions, where it as back home it is disguised by putting people in certain parts of town or confining them to alleyways and bridges.

What one will notice here in Tanzania is the fact that religion is held so highly. Both Christianity and Islam are held onto closely and their traditions, rituals, and disciplines are kept as best as they can be. I am reminded of Karl Marx when he said that religion is the opiate for the masses. I think what Marx hits on can be taken in many different ways. The first way that most people see the quote as Marx is saying that religion is just a drug that people buy into and is nothing but fueling an addiction. Perhaps that was what Marx is saying, but I would like to give ol' Karl's beard a little more credit. I think what Marx hits at her is that religion is an opiate, a narcotic, it is morphine for people in pain. People hold onto God to get them by their hard times, to numb the sharp pains of being poor, hungry and powerless. From what I see here, if people are using God as their way to remedy their agony, then thank you sweet sweet opium. Religion is something that is needed here and everywhere, for without it the masses would surely double over from dolor.

Peace,
PHW

Wedding Day

Today was Luka's wedding. The anticipation for this event has been building for week for the four of us here. The day started with a nice and tight dala dala ride to the church with members of both Luka's and his bride to be's family. All the way to the church the women sang songs and cheered and shouted. It was quite the ride, not your typical crowded dala dala. When we arrived to the church (which May term should be happy to know that it is the same church that they painted) we found out that there wasn't just one wedding going to take place, but two. The church was packed as the choirs sang and people danced.

When it came time to perform the weddings there were two pastors to do the work. PH lead Luka's ceremony and another pastor took the lead of the other couple. It was interesting to see as the two took turns saying the same thing to each couple. I tried to imagine something like that happening back home, and I couldn't even wrap my mind around it. Back home a wedding is a special day where everyone focuses on the one couple, but at the two (technically 3) weddings that we have been to so far, there have been baptisms and with this wedding, two ceremonies.

Another thing that I thought about today as we were getting ready this morning was the fact that the power was out. If it were back home, no power would mean no wedding. At the wedding today there was no electricity needed. We had the sun to light us and fire to cook the food. There is something to be said about the lack of dependence on things like electricity. Unlike at home, where sometimes the day is more about the candles, the food and the reception, today was focused on the wedding and the ceremony.

The sense of community today was something that I dream about back home. Since Luka's family is predominately Muslim, 1/4th of the attendance today was Muslim. There was no conflict and everybody was happy. I again am amazed by the great Christian-Muslim relations here. I am sure that I will run into conflict in the future, but for now things have been just simply amazing.

I could go into the food that we ate after the wedding and how tasty it was, but I won't make you jealous. Let's just say it was way tasty.

Peace,
Peter

What the Lion King forgot to mention...

We went to Mikumi National Park this week. All I can say is...well I can't really say anything because I am at a loss for words. It has been my dream since I was 5 to see the things that I got to see this weekend. I got to see giraffes, elephants, water buffalo, warthogs, hippos, crocs, jackals, all kinds of birds...and lions. 6 or 7 of lions. The second day on safari we saw two lions stalk a warthog. They were slow, magnificent, majestic.

The real story happened the first day though. Toward the end of our first day on safari we ran across three lions sleeping under a tree. We found a good position, at about 30 feet away and watched as they slept. The male lion would occasionally look up and stare at us. Since it has been my dream to see such beautiful creatures, I climbed out of the window and onto the roof of our vehicle to get a closer look. The lions didn't seem fazed. We sat there staring him and he stared at us. It was about at this time that Mchungaji Hafermann asked if we wanted to get closer. Are you kidding me? Of course! So we pulled around to the other side of the tree which was by an airstrip that the park has. He drove within 10 feet of the Simba, I am not exaggerating. I climbed out the window for a better look, keeping keen eye on the Simba to make sure that I could jump back in the vehicle if he decided he didn't want us there. That's when it happened...the most spectacular scene I have ever witnessed in my life. I want you to keep in mind that I have seem some pretty spectacular things. As a child I once saw a tiger in the zoo vomit. It was green and it was radiant.

No, this sight that I am talking about far surpasses mere tiger vomit. The male lion stood up with all of his beauty and licked the back of the female lion. This apparently was lion foreplay because shortly after he mounted. That's right, I come to Africa and God blesses me with two lions fornicating 10 feet in front of me. This is by no means a lie. I have pictures of the the 6 second lion action, and video footage of the dismount. It may have been the shortest romp I have ever seen, but it was worth taking out a loan to get here. No jokes here. I mean come on...how many people come back home and say "hey we saw some lions, and giraffes and blah blah blah..." I will be coming home saying "I watched two lions do it from ten feet away. How was your past three months...bet you didn't see anything as epic or as randy as that...BOOYA!" Nothing really tops that..."Oh I got married" "yeah but did you see two lions do it up close...didn't think so." This is the ultimate trump card.

In the night we had buffalo scrape up against out little house that we stayed in at night. As we slept there was quite the commotion outside within 300 feet of where were were. A family of elephants came by to drink when some lions decided they wanted to join in on the fun. The family of elephants fought the lions and won, making them disappear into the bush. Their roars could be heard throughout the night. Epic Awesome. This may have been the happiest two days of my life.

Peace,
PHW

MacGyver would be proud

So I am sure that everybody else has updated their blogs and you have read them all several times, so I won't go into great detail about what we saw. I will just say that Mac would have been proud this weekend. When we got to the village for service, we were delighted to see that the place we were going to worship was full...only of bovine and not humans. So since we had some time to kill (I mean come on, have we ever started "on time"...the answer is no and we never will) we went for a nice walk to check out how the cows were watered. It was quite the set up when we got there. There were two water troughs and water was pumped from a a nearby underground river. It was by far the most high-tech set up I have seen yet. So for we watched hundreds of heads of cattle come and rehydrate. It was fun and entertaining.

We ate goat for lunch. Now this is where I will stand on my little soap box in praise of the Swiss army knife. I don't know how they thought to put those particular things in the handy dandy tool, but whoever put the toothpick in there needs a free ticket to heaven. I never thought it would come in handy, but it certainly has and it has saved me hours of me trying to get meat out with my tongue. Also, the bottle opener/screwdriver brilliant and has saved many young Maasai teeth trying to open soda bottles. MacGyver would be so proud.

The service went well. There were some children that started to cry and run away at the sight of us because we were white. They thought we were blood suckers, and rightfully so. This made me start to think about being a minority in Africa. To be honest I don't feel like a minority here at all. I was told before coming that I would get to understand what it is like to be a minority for a while...whatever that means. I mean yes, I am a minority here as far as the census between black and white skin colors, but I don't feel like a minority. I feel like an outsider, and that is because I am. When I walk down the streets of Morogoro people aren't looking at me like they have never seen a white person before, they look at me because they know I am American. Whether that is good or bad it depends on the person, but I don't feel out of place because of my skin color. I don't even think about it most of the time to be real honest.

Tim has not been feeling well the past couple of days. He has had some pretty sharp abdominal pain. We speculate that it is kidney stones because Tim has been consuming considerable amounts of meat lately at the villages and when we go to different places where all we have for a meal is meat. This is why I am almost a carnivore Tim. Carnivores win one way or another, unfortunately for Tim it could possibly be with little crystals trying to pass in his body.

Seriously though keep Tim and all of us here in your thoughts. We are finding out that the numbers of people contracting malaria and typhoid in the Morogoro area are rising rapidly. Speaking from first hand experience, malaria isn't any fun and if gone untreated can be fatal.

On that happy thought I will leave you.

Peace,
Peter

Sharing Thoughts

I know I typically write my point of view on things and have my own opinions, but today Tim hit the mark on how I feel right now. So out of lack of creativity and looking bad in comparison I am recommending that you read his blog today to see how I feel. If you don't want to go to the hassle of clicking and waiting for his page to load I will post the same post he did today.

This is from Tim's blog, it's a bit epic but worth it in my opinion...there you go you have my opinion on the matter:

People are basically the same. This is the gentle realization to which I have come today. Now, I have certainly heard this said before and I know that my saying this is not any great leap in cultural understanding. Hell, in tenth grade advanced english we read the play Our Town in which the conclusion, if I remember correctly, is that life everywhere, throughout time and space, is essentially the same. I feel somewhat foolish for coming so late to this new understanding but I suppose everything happens in its own time. This thought is the culmination of what was, for some reason, a relatively difficult week. This difficulty, I am sure, is due to the frustrating feeling that we are experiencing a lot of time on the campus and very little in the villages and cities of Tanzanians. We are basically in a community of education similar to that in which we would be at home. Life began to really become normal this week. The first few weeks were so full of these great revelations of cultural and religious difference, especially in everyday ritual and practices of hospitality, and attitude toward people and the land. Then for a few days I experienced a dip in feeling as realizing these things made me long for home and what I once considered the inferior attitudes of the western world. This week I met myself somewhere in the middle. The great high of culture shock and then the great low of missing home has now ended up in what I believe is closer to reality. Life is normal here as it would be at home. We all do many of the same things that we would do at home and no one here has become an entirely new person. Earlier this week, this was very frustrating. Then I realized that we are all still ourselves (certainly growing but basically ourselves) because life here is not entirely other. There are still incredibly nice people and those who seem especially upset all the time. Greed may look different (like the sales-child that attempted to swindle me at the cattle market) but is still around, as is great charity and selflessness. There is hunger here and at home. There is emptiness and love and a longing for technology and newness. Kids spend the evenings at da club. I still read a lot, The Office is still funny and Steve’s still a slammin’ hottie. The differences, while still present and sometimes obvious, are more often subtle and somewhat superficial. At the bottom of everything people are people. There are many other things that I could mention but you understand, I am certain. I think this is a constructive point to come to as the month of very intensive language learning is coming to a close. I am now past this and can focus on those subtle things that do make us different. Always with the understanding that the differences are normally just differences in manifestations of the same things. We are humans at our core who simply express the essences of our humanity in different ways. It is these expressions, especially as demonstrated in the life of faith, ritual and community that I can now begin to focus upon so that we can learn from each other in our mutual expressions of our humanity and our common convergence with the being of God, the ground of all being.

Peace,
PHW

When the internet crashes, I feel oddly ok

Yesterday afternoon the internet went out. It didn't come back up until around lunchtime today. At first we all panicked and thought the world was coming to an end, but as the hours went on I felt oddly good. I realize this post is not necessarily about Africa and is not about the culture of the people here, but it is an experience none the less.

In a way it has been an "ah-ha" moment. I was enlightened by my conscience that I have become prisoner to the internet. I am not saying that I should liberate myself completely from it and not send out letters and things and post blogs, but I need to seriously cut back. Part of a study abroad experience is to learn something about yourself, and I have learned that I become dependent on communication. What is going down? When is it going down? Who's going? Where? I need to just stop. I know full well why I have attached myself to this little white keyboard. I have been afraid to stop and face reality.

It is understandable that someone turns to find out what is going on at home while they are here for their first month. There is nothing really to do. You don't have a whole lot of money to splurge on things (or you don't want to splurge) so that cuts out reasons to pay for a bus to go to town and then pay for a bus to come back. Riding the bus here is not really that enjoyable of an experience. We can't go out to anywhere at night, so that keeps us on the seminary. We are in class most of the day and then after class we study, and if we don't do that we walk around. Sometimes you just don't want to walk around, or it is to hot to walk around for very long. We are drawn like flies to a dirty dirty choo (Swahili...look it up) when it comes to the internet. It is our gateway of escape from this place, if only for an instant. Not that we want to leave, but we want to shut off our brains for a while and just go back to what we do at home. For the four of us that is surf the net.

Because of all this surfing I think that I, at times, forget one of the main reasons why I am here. To find out who Peter Hathaway Watters, Esq. is. I can completely avoid facing that question when I go online. This is a problem that needs to be remedied. Starting today I am going to start pulling back on my internet time, not that anyone will really notice. I will still post blogs and I will be checking my mail everyday, but I am not going to be online for that long, unless I have a good reason to. I need to find myself here, and I started to yesterday as the internet went down. Even though I have had longer periods of not being online while I was here, I had to take a step back yesterday and really take a look at my priorities. The internet should not be nearly as high as I have put it, though it appears that everybody else here would seem to argue with me.

Anywho...I'm out.

Peace,
Peter

The Chinese know their herbs

I thought that I would give everybody an update on my health. I am starting to feel better today. I started taking some form of an ancient Chinese herbal supplement (the name escapes me) for my malaria on Monday night. It is apparently one of the best things to take around this area for the particular strain of malara that I have. I wasn't sure if it was working at first because I felt no change in my condition on Tuesday, but this morning I started to feel better. As the day has progressed I have not felt all that bad. I mean of course there were sometimes today that were worse than others, but it has been an overall improvement. Hopefully my condition will just get better as the days go on.

It is the the end of Ramadan here, so in celebration we had the afternoon off. We will also get tomorrow afternoon off as well. Since I am really in no shape to wander around to far, this is offering to be a perfect time to do some nice reflecting. Lately I have been reflecting about cheese, and how much I miss it. Gouda, Swiss, cheddar, colby-jack, mozzarella, feta, and brie oh how you will all be ingested when I get back. I don't know if it is the malaria or if I am pregnant, but I have been having odd cravings for things. Pickles, brats, sauerkraut (I must be hanging with the Germans to much), hamburgers, shake and bake, small irish children... you know all of the oddly tasty items that we take for granted.

After I had contemplated the important things in life, I started to think about the more trivial things like who I am becoming and who do I really want to be and that nonsense. It has been interesting to see how I have changed already within the three weeks that I have been here. I know that it will be a really intense 11 weeks ahead, with much self-exploration and reflection, but I am starting to wonder how different I will look at the end of this. Not only psychologically either, physically too. I have been losing weight, growing my beard out, and am letting my hair get long. Maybe when I get home I will be able to come out with major hit records, tour the world, and then leave my career to convert to Islam and change my name Yusuf. Who knows. We can only pray for the hit records.

Peace,
PHW

If you don't want to read all of this...I have malaria.

Sunday was an interesting and an inspiring day. We didn't go to a village for worship, which was a change. Pastor Hafermann preached here at the seminary for the first time in about four years. It was oddly comforting going to service in a church not so different from those at home. It made me think about how many different ways and places we have worshipped over these past few weeks. The service was all in Swahili, of course, but it was almost like a traditional Lutheran service back home...only with sweet Swahili hymns. I ended up leaving the service early because I wasn't feeling the greatest.

After service was over we all headed over to Luka's brother(Solomon)'s house. It was a special occasion because it was 40 days after Solomon's burial and we were there to put the cross on the grave. We started by walking down the road to where Solomon is buried, with the cross leading us. I walked with Solomon's young son, Baraka, which Luka now takes care of. He is around 10 years old and the walk up there I had to fight back tears as I saw Baraka doing the same. I have never seen someone so young so strong. The tears that he would wipe away that had welled up and began to sting his eyes was a sobering blow to me. I can only pray that I will be as strong as him during such hard times.

Another beautiful thing about the service was that since Luka and Solomon are Christian and the rest of the family is mostly Muslim, we got to see Christians and Muslims praying and worshipping and respecting one another as human beings. There was no arguing, not bickering, no fighting about it. This is something that I am so proud to see from a Christian perspective. Christians being Christians and not fighting. Respect for the fellow human being is so much stronger than looking at what makes us different.

After the ceremony, the large party of people went back to the house and we ate. Shortly after we had eaten I asked Kyrsten to take me back because again I wasn't feeling well. She told me if I didn't feel well the next morning I should go get my blood checked for malaria. So this morning I did just that, receiving news that I do in fact have malaria. I do not have that severe of case thanks to the anti-malaria medication that I have been taking religiously since before I left for Tanzania. It still doesn't feel good and I am at times miserable, but I am thankful that it is not nearly as bad as it could be. I am also thankful that I have medication that I am taking now for my malaria. Though it is fairly inexpensive for me to buy (around $6) it is incredibly hard for many Tanzanian people to afford.

I hope all is well around home.

Peace,
PHW

The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation

These past few days have been really interesting, though not too much has happened really. Thursday and Friday were filled with Swahili and new verbs. Lots of new verbs, verbalicious verbs. It has been a little tough lately because of all of the new verbs and the tenses. Though it has been a lot of fun. This next week should be very different as well. Every week we get a new teacher so it is always kind of exciting to find out who we have each week.

Today we went to the youth prison and then to the cattle market. We went to the youth prison to drop off a microscope for the prison to have so that they can check blood for malaria. The prison was interesting because there were no gates or walls holding in the prisoners. It was almost like the prisoners were on a honor system, though the guards there are always on patrol. The prisoners are treated very well. Unlike back in the states it would appear that they are treated like human beings. They live together in a community that seems welcoming, oddly enough.

The cattle market was a lot of fun too. We had the opportunity to buy things like knives, fabric, clubs, shoes...pretty much whatever you wanted. Even though I got dehydrated about half way through, I still really thought that it was a good time. For lunch we had goat and sodas. it was delicious. We even had a couple of vegetarians with us who ate goat as well. It was nice to see everybody enjoying each other's company and having a great time. We had a lot of fun.

Tomorrow after church we are going to Luka's for a cross raising (whatever that consists of) with his family. It should be a very uplifting time seeing Luka's family and hanging out with the kids that are around. I really enjoy playing with the kids at all of the villages and the different places we go.

My brain is pretty scattered, so I think that I am going to stop typing.

Peace,
PHW

I threw my caution to the wind..

Don't worry about the title. I was listening to the song Canned Heat by Jamiroquai when I wrote the title.

These past couple of days have gone pretty well. We are starting to hit a lot of vocab, so our brains are saturated with Kiswahili. It is getting tougher as we go on, so it is providing a nice challenge for all of us. The weather here has been absolutely beautiful. It is still in the dry season so the humidity is down and it gets up to about 85 during the day. Since we are so close to the equator the hottest part of the day is indeed noon, unlike at home where it isn't until 2:30-3 that the hottest part of the day hits. Since it cools down in the afternoon, these past couple of days have been spent exploring the grounds around the seminary after afternoon tea.

I am finding these walks refreshing and I think that I may continue going on them everyday, not only to see the amazing sites around the campus but to also unwind for the day. It gives me time to think through things and a time to release inner tensions that build throughout the day. With the beautiful mountains that are just behind the seminary, it is hard to not want to go walking around and look at them. Hopefully we will get to take a weekend and scale those beauties. I really look forward to going out there, going outside of the seminary to see what Tanzania is like. It is odd, but since we really don't get to go anywhere during the week the seminary seems to get smaller and smaller all of the time. I am ready to start traveling to different places and seeing new things and begin my independent studies on interfaith dialogue.

I know that once we start doing our own things out of the seminary, that time will speed up and our experience will be over before we know it. Though I don't want us to leave anytime soon, I am comforted by what every person that has come here during semester abroad has said. It is the fastest three months of your life. I was thinking the other day, while looking at a calendar and we have hit the 1/6th point of our stay already. It honestly feel like we just arrived a couple of days ago. Funny how time is relative. Einstein...what a guy.

I know the four of us would like to hear from all of you, so if you want to shoot us an email and let us know what is up, whether it be the local gossip to keep on the DL, or it is just random news about your guys' day we would love to hear it. My email address is peter.watters@wartburg.edu so please feel free to drop me a line.

peace,
PHW

I don't like lizards

Well the past couple of days have been interesting. Friday rolled around and my brain was fried from all the swahili. Saturday I tried to study a little bit but I could barely remember any of the words, so I have my brain a break for the day. The Germans left for the weekend, so it was really quite around the seminary. I spent the morning of my Saturday giving a guitar lesson to one of the other language students here. Nothing better than playing a little Cat Stevens on a lazy Saturday in Tanzania.

Sorry that this particular entry is rather scattered, but so is my brain right now. Friday night there was some great excitement. The common room where everybody hangs was having a spontaneous "laptop party" so I went to go get my laptop to join in the fun. When I got to my room I found a 4 inch lizard crawling on the wall. Though I didn't know this before I came, I am apparently fairly creeped out by these little spawns of satan. They move way to fast for their size... and they jump. Yes, I understand they eat harmful mosquitos and flys but so does a big can of Black Flag. So I informed Tim about it and apparently exaggerated the size a bit...whatever...big, small, I don't want it climbing my wall. So brave Steve got the lizard out of our room for us. Tim could have done it but he was laughing to hard at me because I was squirming around because of the heebee jeebees. I don't care what anyone says, I will not have lizards in our place of residence. They are ok outside, but inside is reserved for larger carbon based life forms that look surprisingly a lot like humans.

Saturday we went out to eat for Kyrsten's birthday. It was great food. SO great in fact that I came close to eating it twice. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling a bit nauseous, though it was worth it.

I think that the anti-malaria medication that I am taking is keeping me up at night. I wake up drenched in sweat and kinda dehydrated from sweating, I am also starting to have those wonderful, vivid dreams that everybody else has had since we came here. Though I can never remember mine, i just know that when i have them i have troubles falling back to sleep. This cycle of sweating and dreaming has made me a little homesick. The drugs also make me tired during the day, though I am able to battle that during class, thankfully. This is a little snag in my journey, but nothing to be too concerned about yet.

Sunday was rather eventful. We went to a village today, where four choirs showed up and the service lasted 5 hours. That's just the service, not to mention the two hours prior waiting for people to show and then the auction and food after...and the hour drive both ways. When we go to church on Sunday... We go to church. It gets a little long sometimes but there is always things to do and see all day long, even during the service. Today's service was special for all of us though, because Luka's baby was baptized this morning.

well since I am tired of typing vague statements about my weekend, I am going to stop typing.

peace,
PHW

A lot to talk about...Kinda...

I haven't posted in a couple of days...as I am sure you have noticed. Not to much has really happened in the past couple of days. We have all had Kiswahili lessons all day long, which has been interesting. Because I am slow on the uptake I didn't figure out the teaching strategy that they use until today. They are slowly building our conversational skills, not just our vocabulary with random grammar rules like what we are taught in the average language class back at home. We have learned greetings, introductions, countries of origin, work and school. This is all typical stuff you say right away in a conversation. They are sneaky...alright maybe not, but I am surprisingly retaining most of what I learn. Fantastic.

Let's see...yesterday Tim and I went to the Wednesday night communion service, which was in English. We were told that other language students would be there as well. This was definitely not the case, because Tim and I were the only people there from the language school as the seats were quickly becoming filled with secondary students. It was a great time nonetheless. It was interesting hearing everyone try to sing what a friend we have in Jesus. It reminded me what it is like whenever a typical mid-west choir tries to sing African songs... butchered. I liked it none the less. The interesting thing about the music was the fact that the pastor would say "form (kinda like grade, only different) 5 sing first then form 6, etc." and they would all just sing. These secondary school students just radiated music. There is nothing quite like listening to people sing in Africa. Everyone can sing and everyone has every song memorized. Just amazing.

Moving on, I think the four of us are feeling a tinge of homesickness. It's the simplest of things that we find so valuable. I found out that I have the first and second season of the Office on my computer (thanks Cheeks) so we have been watching the occasional episode every now and again. It's just a nice way to go home in our minds for 20 minute segments. None of us regret coming here by any means, but since we have become fairly close to each other, when one of feels a little blue, so do the rest of us. I think it is settling in that we are going to really be here for three months without solid, voice to voice, face to face communication with our families and friends. We are starting to face the music and I think perhaps it is a little unnerving.

On a happier note, we are starting to make friends with some of the language teachers that are our age and also some of the other students our age. These next three months are going to yield some very interesting friendships. Especially with the teachers, both sides teaching each other their countries slang. By the end of our stay we are going to have three languages learned. Kiswahili, Swahili slang, and a new hybrid of Swanglish (a mixture of english and swahili slangs). Should be good.

One final note. I have posted links to Tim's and Steve's blog. Check them out, it all may be a little redundant but it's nice to have different points of view on the same subjects.

Peace,
PHW

So much time, so little to do... Strike that, reverse it

Today was our first lesson in Kiswahili. It was refreshing to finally understand what people have been saying to us all weekend and learn how we should have responded. Apparently Jambo is not a greeting whatsoever, unless you want to send out a large beacon that says you don't speak Kiswahili.

This past weekend was amazingly hectic and fun. Saturday we went to a wedding in a very poor village. We got to see first hand how weddings go in Tanzania. In the US the wedding day is typically reserved for just the wedding and nothing else, but on this day there was not only a wedding but also two baptisms and communion. The bridal party did not seemed fazed by this whatsoever. It is just a part of life. The people here in Tanzania live as a community and share in everything. I felt honored yet awkward during the meal afterward because we sat at the main table with the bridal party, but again they didn't seemed fazed by this one bit.

Sunday we took a two hour trip out to a Masaai village for worship. For those of you that are reading this that went on last years May term trip you will be happy to know that Moreto came with us. Moreto (a teacher at the language school) and Luka helped us along all day letting us know what was going on and who was doing what. Moreto and especially Luka have been most helpful whenever we go some place, and are always ready to help us out whenever we need it. The church service went on for about 4 hours. After it was all said and done, the Masaai people ended up feeding almost 300 people spiced rice and goat. The head male of the village let us have the honor of eating the goats' liver, which tasted a lot like beef jerky.

Through out all of the festivities this weekend we definitely learned the "hurry up and wait" mentality. We would arrive to a place, which we thought we were late to mind you, and end up waiting 2-3 hours before anything starts to happen. The sense of time here is very relaxed, which at first I found fairly frustrating because I was still in the mid-west idea of punctuality but by the end of the weekend I kind of enjoyed it. I mean what else have I got to do all day?

Jumping to Monday evening (which is right now as I am writing this) we got to know some new students at the seminary with the same level of Kiswahili as us (none). They are mostly all from Germany and we sat around, playing guitar and singing songs. You should all be happy to know that they loved the fact that I knew Cat Stevens :). Come to find out another German student also really likes Cat Stevens and brought along Harold and Maude... therefore Americans + Germans + Cat Stevens= Grrrrreat times to be had.

Anywho... Tomorrow is another day of learning and living, so one must sleep to restart their brain.

Peace,
PHW

Hospitality

Today was a special day for all of us. We went to our first Maasai village. It was quite an exciting experience. On the way there I had the pleasure of sitting next to a Maasai cattle herder and a pastor that was also Maasai. We headed down "the road" (By "the road" I mean that there is literally one main road going north and south in Tanzania that will take you to where you want to go. There is also a road that goes east and west.) Stopping along the way to drop off the cattle herder and a microscope donated by Wartburg to a secondary school. Then we took a long and winding dirt path to the Massai village where we were greated as though we were heros.

Such great hospitality from people that we have never met before and may never meet again. They showed us their village, giving us the grand tour of their handmade pond, their school and their church. We worshipped with them for three hours, which is a pretty short service considering they can be up to six hours long. There was much singing and praying. Their choirs were outstanding, something that you can't quite duplicate in the states. The Maasai people feel rhythm in their heart of hearts and that beat just spews out of them when they sing. It is powerful and exciting to see, yet relaxing and delicate.

After the worship service was over, they fed us rice and a very tasty tomato and potato sauce to pour on top. As a special treat they gave us bottles of Pepsi and 7up. This astounded me, what great generosity for people that they may never see again. The Maasai people are not rich by any means, and for them to spend what little they have to feed us and treat us to something as expensive as soda makes me want to understand more about this grand hospitality that not only is held by the Maasai but by the people of Tanzania. People go out of their way to greet you and make sure you are comfortable. The respect for their fellow human is something straight out of the Bible.

That is something that has really hit me today and really ever since we landed in Dar es Salaam, the Bible. At times I think that we miss the importance, the significance of the great hospitality that is shown in many of the Bibles different stories. I think that we (by we I mean me) forget that these are stories for people who are in poverty. The gospel was not written for the rich to get richer, it was written for the poor to have something to hold on to...eachother. What better way to have connections and friendships in hard times than to give to and depend on those around you.

Well that's all I have for right now. I may be posting photos up in the next few days... but until that happens...

Peace,
PHW

We Made it to Africa

After very long flights across the globe and mind boggling time zone changes through out tuesday and wednesday, we made it to Dar es Salaam around 9:30pm Dar time. That would make it 1:30pm in the Central Standard time. The flights were not too bad, but got a little tiring from sitting in the same position for eight hours.

After staying at the Catholic guest house for the night, we took off from Dar this morning to make the three hour journey down to Morogoro. The ride was very interesting as the standards for driving are sketchy at best. A lot of risk taking was had by the other drivers around us, but our driver was very safe I will have you know :) . When we reached the seminary we split up into rooms and got unpacked. The rooms we are living in are great. Tim (my roommate) and I have two bedrooms, a living room and a bathroom. Steve has his own bed, bath and living room and Sara has her own two bedrooms living room and bathroom. It is nice that we don't have to share a bathroom with people and wait in lines and things.

On the way to Africa and even here at the seminary, we have run into people from Iowa...Iowans are everywhere and they all are connected to at least one of us in some way shape or form. On the plane from Amsterdam to Dar es Salaam we met a man whose daughter worked with Steve this past summer at Riverside Bible Camp. There are a bunch of little stories like that throughout our journey here.

We met a few of the teachers that will be leading our lessons of the next few months. It was nice to put faces with some of the people that we had heard about from friends that have come over May term. I can't until the lessons start and I can begin my journey in Swahili. It should be challenging but fun.

Tomorrow we head out to a Massai village with Pastor Hafermann. Then on Saturday we are going to a wedding, which I hear are quite the sight to see with so many people attending, and then finally on Sunday we are headed to yet another Massai village. This is all happening before we start our Swahili classes on Monday...so the four of us will be jumping into deep cultural emersion with only a few words we have picked up along the way. All of us are very excited and can't wait to go.

Until Later,
PHW

It's my birthday

So it's September 3rd again, and here I am one year older. To think that one week from today I will be on the other side of the world blows my mind. I don't know if I have fully grasped the concept yet. It scares me to think about it and it makes me very nervous. I have been told that this is a natural feeling and that if I had no fears whatsoever then I would be kidding myself.

There are so many different thought and expectations that I have about this trip and this experience. If I can take one thing back home, it would be a renewed (actually just new) sense of humbleness. I do not want to be boastful or elitest about my experience over in Tanzania.

When I come back I want to be able to talk about my experience in such away that it is encouraging and relaxing, not a Blitzkrieg of pictures and "you had to be there" stories. I want to be able to show great hospitality, and not because I learned it in Africa, but because I learned it in my heart.

I am going with three other people. One a great friend, one a friend that I would like to get to know better, and finally someone that will become a friend. These three people will be my family, will be my comfort and be my springboard for the next three months. I hope that we can share our thoughts, dreams, and fears with one another. All of us feeling comfort from the presence of the other.

We ask God to guide us on our journey, and to keep us safe. For in God we lay our trust, our faith, and our life.

-PHW

The Beginning Thoughts

As I prepare for my expedition to Africa, I am filled with nervous apprehensions and fear. I suppose it is the fear of the unknown, the fear for my safety and health, and fear of loneliness that gets to me the most.

I am positive that this experience will change my life for the better and I will see the world in a new light, but as I wait, I wait with a tinge of uneasiness.

Through all the fear and anxiety I can't help but feel so much joy and excitement as well. I have been praying for this moment for as long as I can remember. I have been waiting to go to Africa since I first heard of the continent and understood its deep connection with me. Though I know that sights and sounds and smells will be overwhelmingly plentiful, it is the deeper connection with the homeland of humanity, the motherland, that fills my heart with great longing.

With a little over a month to go, I have much planning to do and much mental preparation to go.